


My First and Last

by Kat_Dakuu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha Eren Yeager, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Jean Kirstein, Omega Verse, Single Parents, trans second gender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 15:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18346034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Dakuu/pseuds/Kat_Dakuu
Summary: EreJean Week day 5: single parents/formal wearJean never expected to see Eren again. It stood to reason that they would find each other at some point, considering they never fell out of love. But he never expected to run into his ex at some fancy party either. Eren walked away to get his hormone treatment three years ago. Now he’s an alpha and still perfect and Jean falls in love all over again. It doesn’t help that he’s been harboring his own reasons to keep the other man in his life—a reason with tiny hands and citrine eyes that sparkle like Eren’s.





	My First and Last

Jean sighed as he leaned back against a pastel painted wall. The idyllic shade sat somewhere between mint green and chartreuse, and he couldn't quite bring himself to hate it. The color contrasted with his navy suit jacket and the single earring leftover from his punk days. He long grew past that, but then, his life gave him no other choice. Eyes flitting between the tables, he caught sight of a little head with silky brown hair tied loose at the back. Eriannu—everything changed when that boy was born.

For just a second, Jean let his eyes slip closed, appreciating the direction his life turned. Because, for all the unexpected responsibility that life shoved onto him, he loved his son with a fierceness that left no room for regret. God, he could _never_ regret the result of his first and only love. When Jean breathed in deep to scent the room, he could almost smell the other man's musk, almost hear his voice ringing in his ears.

_'Jean! Fuck! Look at this place!'_

Another memory washed over him, that familiar voice tinging with sadness rather than passion, though not an ounce of regret. No, regret never sat on _that_ man's shoulders. Jean could hardly hate him for it. He could never hate those emerald eyes, that crooked, devil's smile, _that passion_. Even if it drove them apart in the end.

The last time they spoke, the noontime sun washed their apartment in gold, as bright as the other man's eyes. That brightness said it all. Jean's friend—boyfriend?—of years couldn't hide his excitement, even halfway out the door.

_'It's been fun. So uh, see you on the other side, Jean? You know I…'_ But he never got to hear those words. The first man that Jean fell in love with, even though their bodies conspired against them, walked away without finishing the words. Almost four years later and Jean still couldn't guess. He couldn't guess at all what Eren knew back then.

"…an? Hey, Jean? It is you!" Fingers wrapped around his arm and Jean's eyes flew open again, a gasp dying on his lips when he spun. Vibrant eyes like glass met his, falling back into an easy smile and a strong jaw he could never forget.

"Eren!" Jean gasped. He froze. God, he just fucking froze because all his fantasies collided into a single point called reality. This was a joke right? His memories getting out of control again? Jean reeled back so he could dart his gaze along the other man, all the way from his chocolate hair to the shiny black shoes, crimson jacket lapels and oh…he smelled different. Same smile, but a different scent. As an omega himself, Jean knew exactly what it meant—this was not a dream. He bit his lips, watching as Eren's bright look turned hesitant, hand slowly dropping away.

"Yeah. Sorry, I shouldn't have grabbed your arm like that. It's uh…been years hasn't it. I didn't expect to see you at a place like this though…" Eren trailed off, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. He'd grown it out. A golden eagle clip held half of the brown strands back in an elegant updo, the rest cascading around his neck. Actually, his hair looked a bit like Eriannu's, the locks silky and soft against such strong masculine features. Jean had to stop himself from blurting out everything he held back for years. Instead, he managed a terse smile.

"Three years, seven months, and ten days," he clarified with the smallest whisper. The sounds of merriment almost swallowed up his admission, but the words still came out clear, as if they alone mattered in this whole fanfare of fancy parties and art showings that his life became. Jean met Eren's eye, and held it this time. "That's how long it's been since you walked away. But…I _get it_. Things were different back then. You were different. I was different." Then again, only Eren went out and dictated that change himself.

For a second, Eren looked crestfallen before he lifted his chin, those emerald eyes flashing against Jean's challenge. Ah, so that at least hadn't changed. "You know why I left. I had to, Jean, and besides you-!"

He what? He'd been a rebel omega with oil paints staining his battered shoes? Just a friend, or not really a friend because they threw acid in each other's faces as much as praise? But he'd been a comrade that Eren shared so many nights together with. They loved each other. They didn't need to say it aloud and never did, but they both knew it. They both accepted it like they accepted the stars above, if not the fate written in them. No, Eren had never been one to accept his fate any more than Jean had back then.

"I know." Jean nodded once, not accusing Eren, even though a part of him died the day that Eren left. He'd _wanted_ Eren to leave at that time. Because he loved Eren, he set him free. "You finished the treatment? You're finally…you?" He asked, a smile quirking against his lips. And really, nothing suited Eren more than being an alpha. From the first day that Jean sparked against Eren's sharp tongue, he knew. Their fists would curl into tight balls before Eren shoved him into a wall, or he would shove Eren, growling despite the way his body shivered against his will. Eren's body had fought against him and the alpha soul hiding beneath that tiny frame with eyes like jasper. Ah yes, jasper suited Eren better than any emerald metaphor. Emeralds were pretty and shiny, but jasper had weight, a strength.

For a second, they just looked at each other, lost in the heaviness of their youth. Back then, Jean could only describe their closeness as that of kindred souls lost together. In a world of alphas and omegas, male and female, finding your identity never made much sense. He wondered what it must have felt like to live in a time where no matter what sex and gender you were born with, you had to live with it forever. There was a time that Jean also loathed being born an omega, but then, he wouldn't be here today if he followed the same path as Eren.

Finally, the big quirky grin that Jean knew so well slid across Eren's face. "Yeah, I'm a bonafide alpha now. All Eren and nothing else!" He kissed his fingers and flung them out in a gesture that made Jean's heart clench and a wild grin want to pull on his face as well. The moment only lasted a second though before Eren let his hand drop back to his side. "But to be honest, the transition was hard. I uh…wanted to see you several times, but I didn't know how to contact you."

"Why?" Jean found himself asking.

Eren cocked his head to the side. "Why didn't I know how to contact you? Your number changed and it's been years. I assumed you moved away, ya know. It's not like I asked you to wait on me or keep room in your life for…whatever we were…" Eren trailed off, seeming at a loss for what to say, aware that he may have stepped on a landmine. Had he also been thinking about that day all these years? Jean just snorted though, reiterating his question from before.

"No I mean, why me? We were together back then because we understood each other," he admitted. "Why circle right back to where you started?" Jean didn't say that he _had_ waited for Eren, though not for the reasons that the other man expected. He also didn't say that he wanted Eren to circle back, always somewhat suspected that he would. Eren was that type of person, even if he moved forward at a pace that the rest of the world couldn't keep up with. He also didn't leave his comrades behind.

Eren tilted his head, leaning forward as if to inspect a scent in the air. It was different from how they interacted before, when they shared a flat as two omegas. Physically anyway. Jean never quite knew how to define their relationship as lovers, or alphas and omegas, because they never treated each other based on their sex. They'd been adamant not to. Jean, who wanted no part in roles dictated by sex, and Eren who was born into the wrong role. They bonded in their rebelliousness and that alone. Jean knew that from the first whispers of experimental trans-sex treatments though, that they would part ways. He just thought they might end up in the same place.

"Never mind." Jean bit his lip when the silence stretched too long. Whatever Eren tried to discern from his body language, Jean didn't intend to give it to him. He longed to get closer, but some secrets deserved to stay private as well.

Frowning, Eren shook his head. "Why shouldn't it be you? You know I…" He ran a hand through his hair again, nearly dislodging the clip. "No one has ever understood me like you did, not even the therapists or my post-treatment friends. They should know me because they saw that transition, but you…you got me before. No one else did." Eren breathed out, the stutter in his lungs enough to show just how much the admission affected him.

Jean understood. Everything about this affected him way more than he let on. It left his voice dropping into a whisper. "You got me too, even when I was just throwing paint on a canvas, no real dreams in mind. But…" He didn't even know why he needed to end with that word, but he couldn't leave things like a half-formed love confession either. Hadn't too many things changed? "Shit, I really don't know how to talk to you right now. Sorry." He shoved both hands into his pockets, turning his gaze away. It was a habit as old as their first meeting six years ago. All the worse now that his body reacted to Eren's alpha strength as much as his heart and mind did.

Eren though, Eren just accepted Jean's hesitance into his stride. "Yeah, I guess that's my fault too. You know, you clean up real nice though. Look at you all filled out…" he breathed, eyes raking down Jean's figure. For the first time in their lives, their heights matched, and it let them meet eyes with ease. "I'm sad I missed it. You growing up all mature like this. We were such gawky teenagers."

"Yeah." Jean swallowed hard. Emotions welled up inside him, quick and sharp, trying to drag him under. He hadn't felt like this in years. He needed to get it under control, before Eren noticed. Before the socialites noticed, or his son. Where was Eriannu? With his friends? He should be watching the boy, but Jean still turned his gaze back to Eren. Because yeah, he couldn't help but return the sentiment. "…You too. You look every bit the way I imagined, five, ten years down the road. Except the hair-!" Jean choked on a broken laugh and needed to take another step back, even if it made Eren frown. "God, I never expected you with long hair. But it's…it's nice. It's really fucking nice!"

Eren matched his retreat like the bastard he'd always been. "You okay, Jean? Shit…you were imagining this?" He paused, seeming shook by the revelation. Thankfully, he stopped short of grabbing hold of Jean who straightened his back again, determined not to cave. He would _never_ act like a coward. Instead, he met Eren's gaze like he had so many times before.

"I never forgot you. I'm kinda stupid aren't I? It's been years…" Jean shook his head, but didn't let himself back down. "I have a reminder that won't let me ever forget you even though I should have let go a long time ago. I…" He furrowed his brow as he considered how to tell Eren the truth. He needed to though, now that they reunited. It would be unfair not to. "Eren, I need you to meet someone."

Eren's throat bobbed with a painful-looking swallow. "Oh. Do you-? I mean, I just assumed you were single." His eyes darted down to Jean's hands which he tilted to show off their pale and unadorned lengths.

"I am." God, he was so fucking single it killed him sometimes. He stared right into Eren's eyes, burning the knowledge into the other man. Yes, he was still single, could never find someone that fit the Eren sized gap in his life quite right. Tried, but god, no one ever fit. That didn't matter though. The person he most needed to share with Eren sat only a few feet away and he needed to know it. "It's not a lover. Eren…I have a son." _We_ have a son, but he didn't quite say that.

Eren's eyes went wide as everything in him stilled. He could feel Jean's steady gaze on him, the air getting warmer until he could barely breathe. It felt warm from the second he spotted Jean's undercut and crooked silver arrow earring from across the room. Now, he didn't think he could take it. _Son._ Jean just said he had a son. Of all the words he expected to tumble out of his ex-lover's mouth, 'son' was not it. It opened a thousand questions inside of Eren and a pain like so many needles in his gut. The feeling only got worse when Jean turned with measured slowness, calling out to a boy seated one table away.

"Eriannu, can you come here?"

The boy who dropped down from the high-backed chair took all the rest of Eren's breath away. Tiny, the thought came out so tiny, but still it slammed itself inside his mind. _Is that_ my _son?_

It was stupid, selfish to think it and he felt even stupider that he got jealous ten seconds ago. Thinking that Jean might have someone new, thinking that he had someone in the past and loved them enough to bare a child, raise it, live an omega's life when he'd wanted nothing to do with that four years ago. But god, how could he not swell with hope when Jean's son looked like _that_.

Brown hair a shade lighter and warmer than Eren's, the boy's skin looked tanned, his eyebrows set in an elegant curve over citrine eyes. The color didn't quite match Eren or Jean, but there was a brightness there, one that reminded him of his own childhood pictures. And when the boy met his gaze from a step behind Jean, the world narrowed right down to those two citrine points. "Jean I…he's not…" Eren choked because no well practiced words came to mind anymore. Just like the pre-transition boy from years ago, he felt so stupidly lost it hurt.

Jean watched his son rather than Eren until the boy came to a stop behind him, looking bright eyed, but hesitant. It wasn't often that Jean introduced him to people at parties. Normally, he left his son in the care of party staff or with Eriannu's friends, since he couldn't bare to leave the best thing in his life at home so many nights in a row, never seeing his pretty smile or soft gaze. Really, who did he learn such a look from? Neither parent could soften their eyes like that or dance so delicately around a subject. When Jean pulled Eriannu in front of him though, arms clasped over the boy's shoulders, he realized that he could soften his face for the right people.

"Eren, this is Eriannu, my son. Eri…" Jean glanced down to meet the boy's eyes for the briefest second, but then his eyes flew back to Eren's, making it hard to breathe again. Even though he spoke the words like he meant them for the boy's sake, they both knew he spoke for Eren and Eren alone. "Eri, this is your father."

The world expanded again like a shockwave, wide and fuck, he didn't know what to do with it. "J-Jean! Shit, Jean!" Eren needed to bite back a sob right in the middle of some fancy party, and all because Jean said they had a kid. He said it as if introducing his son to a stranger, not Eren. He barely entertained the idea himself before Jean confirmed his suspicions. _Bastard._ It sounded so like the old Jean that Eren couldn't decide if he wanted to throw his head back with laughter or fall on the floor crying. He settled for reaching out trembling hands.

"I had n-no idea. Can I…can I hold him?" Eren's squeaked out the words like an awkward prayer. After a second, Jean nodded his head. In a heartbeat, Eren had the boy scooped up in his arms, hands tight around the little body in an attempt to hold him closer. Eriannu—was that the name Jean called him?—wrapped arounds around his neck. Such a good child to go with this, even though he never met Eren before.

"Are you really my father?" Eriannu hummed, his big eyes turned up to meet Eren's. Choking on his breath again, Eren tried hard not to crush the boy against his chest. He wanted to bury himself so deep in the boy's presence though, still so completely in awe.

"I…yes," Eren started, before repeating the words stronger, because Jean said it himself and this boy couldn't belong to anyone else could he? Not looking like a perfect Eren miniature. "I think I really must be. Oh _god!_ You're my son…with Jean. We had a kid!" Eren managed to tear his eyes away from the boy to meet Jean's gaze once again. "Why didn't I know?! All these years and I had a son?!"

Jean shifted on his feet, but didn't dodge Eren's gaze. He held it straight on, gnawing his lip and flushed a light shade of pink. "…I found out a couple weeks after you left. By then, it was too late to say anything and I…I kind of just took everything in stride. It seemed like our kid was meant to be. I mean, two omegas? The chances were so low…" He trailed off, teeth so deep in his lip that blood welled up.

Eren locked his gaze on those ruby droplets, knowing that if he shifted his gaze anywhere else, he would break apart. Jean's voice sounded wet with emotion and the body in his arms felt warm, so unbelievably warm. Eren swallowed back a sob, not even caring when tears rolled down his cheeks. They felt fresh and free, just an accent to the smile on his face.

"We have a son. Jean I…" Eren squeezed Eriannu a little harder. He could feel the boy's gaze on him so he had to look down, finally meeting it. "Wait, we have a son. We seriously need to talk about things. Do you want to go sit at the bar a bit…maybe?" He hesitated before squatting down as if to release Eriannu, but he didn't quite let go yet, his gaze fixated on the little boy's.

"Would it be alright if me and your daddy go talk for a while? We haven't seen each other in a long time. But if you want to, I'd like to hear all about you later. You'd like to get to know me too, right?" If not, Eren wasn't sure how he would contain himself, already so in love with the boy in his arms.

Eriannu blinked once, pretty yellow eyes so open and honest. "Can I really talk to you again?" He grasped Eren's cheeks, squeezing hard and smearing the tears. "Daddy says crying is for sad things. So please don't cry right now!" He grinned so bright that Eren nearly did break down and start sobbing. Was that supposed to mean that he shouldn't feel sad? That maybe Eriannu felt happy?

"Yeah, okay…I won't cry anymore. It's just that I've really wanted to meet you…" Eren trailed off again. Even if he said it a hundred times more, he could never express how much his heart swelled to see and hold his own _son_. And he left Jean alone to raise him? For the first time in his entire life, he regretted going through his transition. Not because he regretted it, but because of all the things he missed and the hurt he may have put on the person he once…no, _still_ loved. Seeing Jean and what they created, he realized once again that his heart belonged here. Maybe, he realized that the second his eyes locked onto the familiar two-toned hair. Right then, he'd known his heart was lost.

Jean swallowed hard, his adam's apple bobbing against the stiff collar of his white button-up. He nodded once though and reached out to grip Eriannu's shoulder. "It's alright. Please go wait at the table and ask Mrs. Brauer if you need anything. She'll let you in the kitchen if you want. We'll be back before the speeches, okay?" After another squeeze, he nudged the boy back to his plate of brownies, and Eriannu went, not to questioning the promise.

It left Eren and Jean standing alone again, less than a foot apart and unable to look away. "So…we should…?"

"Yeah." Jean swallowed again. He reached out, then grasped Eren's hand with a surprisingly strong grip. But then, Eren didn't fall in love with the man because he needed an alpha to look after him. He fell in love with Jean because he _didn't_. "I'm thinking about jack and coke real fierce right now."

A low laugh rumbled through Eren's chest as he let Jean pull them both to the far side of the party room. A few guests tried to stop them both, but sour looks from Jean and intense ones from Eren gained them their space. Minutes later, they stretched out in a pair of lounge chairs, pulled so close together that their knees bumped. Drink in hand, Eren circled back to the crux of their conversation, and hell if his eyes didn't stray to where Eriannu sat, eating without a care in the world.

"He's really my son then? There's no one else?"

Jean rolled his eyes, but the look he leveled Eren with a second later showed no hesitation or humor. "Moron, who else would there be? I mean, of course I've been with guys since then, but after you…" He made a vague gesture. They both knew it. Back then, Jean rejected all relationships except his with Eren. Everyone else made him feel used, defined by his sex. He'd been so angry with the world and disappointed in it and Eren felt the exact same way. But to think that their nights spent exploring what made each other feel good would end like this? Eren had to knock back half his whiskey sour just to feel steady again.

"I believe you." He whispered the words low and reverent, finally lifting his eyes again to Jean's face. "But that just makes me feel worse for leaving you. I cared for you and I left, then you had to raise our kid alone. I seriously wronged you, Jean!"

Jean reached out, clasping his hand over Eren's and stopping him from chugging his drink in one go. "I told you it's fine! Shit, Eren! The guy I knew would never regret leaving to follow his own life! Don't you fucking regret things for my sake! You think that makes me happy?!"

Eren didn't know what made the other man happy. Years passed since they saw each other and he never expected to meet Jean at a fancy party of all places. Sure Jean always wanted that life, but he'd been adamant about getting there by his power alone. Both of them managed to get invited to this same event though, like they belonged. Even one year ago, Eren didn't think his life would take this direction uphill.

"I…" He struggled with his words for a second, finally setting his drink back to rest against his knee. "I can't stop thinking about it. I would have…I would have liked to be there when he was born. You know? I always imagined how we would meet again. If you would still be the same stubborn artist, trying to do everything by yourself, or if you would be like me now. If you really wanted to change, or just change society. God, we talked about it so much. But I never imagined…" How could he imagine that his boyfriend would end up pregnant? Eren shook his head. "I hope I didn't take that opportunity away from you."

Jean turned his gaze away, shoulders bunching with sudden passion and tension. "You didn't rob me of _anything_." Jean bit out the words with such strength that it surprised both of them. Even if he refused to meet Eren's gaze, he couldn't pretend that he felt anything different. His fingers ran circles around the rim of his glass as he raised his eyes again, but this time to find his son. "I thought I would shake up the world or I would be strong like you and not care what the elitists say. When Eri happened though…my life just felt _right_. If I hadn't been born an omega, he would never exist. I realized I could never regret that! I was born like this so I could have your baby, Eren! Your kid!"

Turning away again, Jean clenched his jaw until it ached. But still he held the pose, so on edge it hurt. What would Eren say? They never even professed their love before. Of course he knew it existed. They felt it so strongly back then, to the point it seemed like words didn't matter. And yet, they'd both known from the start that it would one day end. Jean convinced himself that wasn't why he kept silent. Before he could wallow any deeper though, Eren fell to his knees, hands on Jean's thighs so their gazes could meet. It left him choking, reeling back from the emotion there.

Adoration shone in Eren's deep green eyes, awe in his open mouthed sigh, love in the wetness against his lashes. Eren stared deep into Jean's eyes, trying to instill every ounce of that. "I think so too. You're perfect as you are. Always have been…" Eren bit his lip, leaned closer to press a kiss against one of Jean's tightly clenched hands. "But I wanted what you wanted for yourself. I would have supported you through anything. I want to support you now too."

Jean's brow furrowed. Irritation, hope, pride, and the usual stupid need to submit warred inside of him. It left him struggling to separate the genuine emotions from his instincts. He refused to muddle something so important though. "I want that too…" he breathed out. "Shit. Eren, I…fuck, I missed you so much. I wanted you to meet Eri, to know I named him after you. Spent weeks researching the origin of Eren and the Irish goddess that your name's derived from. I wanted our son to have a pretty name like that. I wanted him to be like you." Some cosmic power must have heard his wishes too, because Eriannu so strongly took after Eren, to the point it brought tears to Jean's eyes in the dead of the night. It made him miss the other man even more.

Eren hummed, the sound broken and wet sounding. He never let the tears fall though, even as they continued to cling against his lashes. "I…uh. I wanted you to see me too. Like the first day after I started my hormones and these pheromones started rolling off me. It felt so right! I felt high with happiness and I wanted to call you up right then and there. But the call never went through."

A thrill went up Jean's spine to think that Eren really did try to call him. He made his break as an artist shortly after Eriannu's birth and everything moved so fast. He found himself swept up into a fancy world that seemed more suited for his dreams. When he realized it and tried to look back, everything else had already slipped away—Eren included. "I would have liked that." Jean swallowed again, but didn't look away from Eren's deep gaze. After a second, he flipped the other man's hand so he could tangle their fingers together.

"I wanted to tell you that this crazy midget bastard approached me about being a spokesman for trans-sex people everywhere. I'm speaking tonight, you know."

"I didn't know," Jean answered. However, the thought made his heart swell with pride.

Eren shrugged one shoulder, but even if he feigned nonchalance, excitement and pride made his eyes glow. "Yeah, everything is kinda perfect now. Except-" He watched the emotions flit across Jean's face, though he no doubt tried to keep them hidden. Even when he saw hurt flash in those amber eyes, he didn't hesitate. He was so fucking done hesitating. "Except I got lonely. I even adopted a kid."

That got Jean's eyes flying wide again, breath nearly toxic inside his throat. After all the nice, gentle things Eren just said to him, he went and said _that?_ It made everything inside of Jean turn into ice and bring fire into his eyes at the same time. For some reason, the thought made him choke back a laugh. "You got on my case and you have a kid too?" he managed. Then paused. "Can I meet them…?"

An easy smile slid over Eren's face, despite the petulance in Jean's tone. It was a tone he knew like the back of his hand, knew how to see right through. "Of course. She's not yet two, so Mikasa is watching her. You remember my half-sister right?"

Jean rolled his eyes. "How could I forget? So uh…you two?"

Eren rolled his eyes right back. "We're siblings, Jean! Get your mind out of the gutter! Besides, didn't I just confess that I've loved you for years?" He snorted, shaking Jean's hand like some kind of punishment instead of the endearing gesture it really was. He liked that even when Jean acted like he wanted to throw up a defense, he squeezed Eren's hand back, thumb running along his knuckles to memorize them. However, when he grinned at Jean, he realized the man sat back in his chair, utterly stunned.

"What?" Eren tilted his head, confused that Jean would have fallen so silent now. After half a minute, Jean managed to find his voice again, though it came out hoarse and broken.

"You said you love me."

Eren could only stare back, the pieces starting to fall into place. And when they did, he found his breath just as forced, throat clogging up fast with unspilled tears. After all this time, all these years that he went on loving Jean, he never said it. He never heard it from Jean's mouth either. As much as he assumed the words didn't need said, hearing them so suddenly, it seemed like too much.

"I-" He licked his lips. Thoughts kept rolling in endless circles inside his mind. Jean looked, _god_ , he looked wrecked. Did he not want Eren to say it? Did he not know? Eren almost wondered if he should take the words back. He couldn't though, could never take back this stupid love for a stupid man who pushed his limits, then pulled him right back in again. When Eren grasped Jean's face between both his hands, no trembles shook his grip.

"Yeah, I fucking love you, Jean. Always have. Just took me way too long to say it." He leaned in, ghosting breath over Jean's lips. Before he could pause for a response though, Jean surged forward, capturing Eren in a kiss that swept all his breath away. Those lips moved desperately over his until Eren opened his mouth, tangling their tongues together. And yeah, he knew without having to hear Jean's words back. Still, when Jean did move to whisper against his ear, he couldn't stop more tears from rolling down his cheeks.

"…I love you too, Eren. Always."

He pressed kisses to Jean's eyelids, his forehead, the spot where his sharp cheekbones jutted out the most. Eren landed a last soft kiss to Jean's lips before resting their foreheads together. A part of him wanted to drag Jean away from the party and maybe to the nearest hotel so they could reaffirm their love, but he wasn't a child ruled by lust anymore. They both came to this party for important reasons and…he couldn't quite bring himself to ruin the tenderness settling around them like the soft blue color Jean favored so much in his paintings.

"After tonight, can I see you again?" Eren finally sounded out, not sure of the answer, even now. Jean snorted though, digging a hand into Eren's hair and pulling him back just so he could bump their heads together again.

"Stupid. Didn't you promise Eri that you'd tell him all about yourself?" Jean breathed out, his chest so full that he felt like flying away. Eren said he loved him. Hearing those words, finally, made them solid, real—and he never thought they made a difference. But his love, it just went and doubled anyway. "Please stay."

After a wordless nod, Eren kissed him again. And again, until Eren left to get ready for his speech and Jean went back to his son, who looked wide-eyed with unbridled curiosity. Jean couldn't even ask if the boy spied on them though, ask what he thought about Eren barreling into their life again. Such conversation would have to wait for later. Instead, Jean smiled through a speech about how Eren's teenaged years shaped him. Years they spent together. And if Jean cried when he dedicated the speech to his son, no one but Eren knew, jasper eyes unwavering from the silent streams flowing down Jean's cheeks.

It would be hard. Two people living in the limelight for very different reasons. They had years that they needed to bridge and children to raise, but neither of them cared in that moment. Eren quirked his lips up in a private smile meant for his first love ever. His first, and now, his last.


End file.
